How my problems stood in the way of finding the love of my life
Would you agree if I said that you would perform better at work (or school) if you had less problems? Would you maybe be able to run faster, lift heavier, sleep better and eat more properly? I know I would.
Would you be able to love deeper and harder and more intense? And equally important, would you receive love better, see it clearly and really enjoy it? It happened to me.
For 4 years I had affirmation notes on the inside of my front door. The top note said:
“If you wanna fly, you gotta give up the shit that weighs you down.”
When ever I left the house I was reminded of my bag full of shit. My company had just filed for bankruptcy, (so I was jobless as well) a pile of debts, a bunch of angry customers and two hands full of disappointed friends and relatives.
At that time I was not in a relationship. Luckily. Because looking back I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with the love of my life at that point in time. I am sure I wouldn't, because I couldn't.
Before, during and after my period of hitting rock bottom I saw a few girls. The ones that I liked, saw me as a nutcase. The ones that liked me, had serious issues themselves. (I am sorry if this comment hurts anyone's feelings but it's true.)
The love of my life would have never sticked to me.
And so I stopped searching for love and the ideal partner. That partner is not going to fix you. I realized that that was my job and my job only. Gradually I got rid of all my problems by doing these 5 things:
1 – First I made a list of the kind of man I wanted to be, what values and principles I wanted to live by and what my life should look like after 5, 10 and 15 years. (try it, it's liberating!)
2 - By focusing on my health; I started practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, , running, weightlifting
and I did between 215 and 250 workouts of various kinds each year, (I know these number may
sound ridiculous but see point 5)
3 - I promised myself to say NO to 3 things every single day,
4 - Every month I walked to the ATM and took 50,- euro's for each week of the month that
followed, put it in separate envelopes for each week (try that too, it hurts like hell!) and then
paid as much bills and debts as possible with the remaining amount,
5 - I replaced partying and spending by working, painting, cooking and going to the gym,
What ever the problems are that weigh you down, please face them today. Swallow your shit, don't chew on it.
You can book tremendous results by staying focused and working hard. Every month, week or day another of my problems would disappear. The sky became clear but the sun really started shining when I met Asha. Actually I should say, when I met her AGAIN.
We had met before and it turns out that she needed a little problem-solving time of her own before meeting me again. I am one lucky bastard. Having improved myself and being on this winning streak I decided it is time to go back into the ring.
Soon I will be launching a brand called SNKRBLT (say: Sneakerbelt) We chose to use “you complete me” as our pay-off since we help to complete your outfit (with a matching belt when wearing denim and sneakers) and our charity policy also evolves around this pay-off. Our products are labeled with the text below:
Stop searching for love and the ideal partner. You should become one. Dream of you. Invest in you. Do what you gotta do.
Be the best you can be. Because only then :: you complete me ::
SNKRBLT is made with love, under good circumstances and in limited editions.